I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
