Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
