i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
