I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize