he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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