Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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