he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
