I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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