apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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