Buhtt sex?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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