Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize