I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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