Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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