I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
