maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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