I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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