i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize