Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
