You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Randomize
