how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
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These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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