do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
