So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
