I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
