Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize