soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's shark week go big or go home
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
