My brain says no but my pants say off.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
