Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
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