I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
