so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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