my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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