i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
