All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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