worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
