4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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