That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
