i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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