So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
