Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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