two words: eviction party
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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