that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize
