Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
