You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize