is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
