she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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