Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
