Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
