Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
