your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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