Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wish you could order shots online.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
