and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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