Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
