where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
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By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
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I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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