im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We talked him into tasing himself.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
