does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize