Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I need to calm my uterus...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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