I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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