Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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