I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
is wine microwaveable?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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