my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
