Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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